Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfieldwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer and writer, known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme. He is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School...
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth22 November 1921
CityDeer Park, NY
funny hurt real
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
funny humor eye
For Christmas one year I bought my son a BB gun. He bought me a t-shirt with a bulls eye on the back.
sorry rain people
I feel sorry for short people, you know. When it rains, they're the last to know.
sports hockey fighting
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
funny humor kids
Once when I was lost I asked a policeman to help me find my parents. I said to him, 'Do you think we'll ever find them?' He answered, 'I don't know, kid. There are so many places they can hide.
funny good-morning mother
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
girl two blind
Well with girls I don't get no respect. I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by. I said Are you Louise? She said, Are you Rodney? I said, Yeah. She said, I'm not Louise.
sex fighting night
All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.
respect army dark
It was the same thing in the army, no respect. They gave me a uniform that glowed in the dark.
morning laughing guy
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
hair gray gray-hair
It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.
funny relationship marriage
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
wife bars naked
...went to a bar for a few drinks. The bartender asked what I wanted. "Surprise me", I said. So he showed me a naked picture of my wife.
funny cheating humor
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.