Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfieldwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer and writer, known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme. He is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School...
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth22 November 1921
CityDeer Park, NY
acting doe actors
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
sex bisexual years
I figured out I'm bisexual. I have sex twice a year.
stars night wife
My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
funny humor wife
I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is "don't tell the butcher"!
morning four flight
When you walk up five flights of stairs at four in the morning, there's definitely a hooker involved.
morning nice drinking
My life is nothing but pressure. All pressure. This pressure is like a heaviness. It's always on top of me, this heaviness. It's always there since I'm a kid. Other people wake up in the morning, 'A new day! Ah, up and at 'em!' I wake up, the heaviness is waiting for me nice. Sometimes I even talk to it. I say [adopts cheerful voice] 'Hi, heaviness!' and the heaviness looks back at me, [in an ominous growl] 'Today you're gonna get it good. You'll be drinking early today.'
funny sex humor
I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.
funny talking ducks
Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig?" Guy says, "This is a duck." Bartender says, "I was talking to the duck."
running respect romance
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
funny marriage hilarious
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
nice kissing giving
I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
funny life-is situation
Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.
men allowance checks
My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.
children kids childhood
What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.