Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfieldwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer and writer, known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme. He is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School...
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth22 November 1921
CityDeer Park, NY
funny witty real
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.
about-yourself
Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.
funny witty sorry
When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father ... I'm very sorry. We did everything we could ... but he pulled through.
funny humor night
One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her "you cooked it, you take it out".
home night men
They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.
kids scotch bird
My kids scotch tape worms to the sidewalk and watch the birds get hernias.
ive-learned angry can-do
I've learned to control everything. I don't get angry at anything. Somebody can do me wrong. That's life. What good is it to get angry?
funny dad father
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
airports ships lucky
I've never been lucky. The day my ship came in, I was at the airport.
kids play people
I started over again with an image: Nothing goes right. Then when The Godfather came out, all I heard was, Show respect. With me, you show respect. So I changed the image to I don't get no respect. I tried it out in Greenwich Village. I remember the first joke I told: Even as a kid, I'd play hide and seek and the other kids wouldn't even look for me. The people laughed. After the show, they started saying to me, Me, too - I don't get no respect. I figured, let's try it again.
funny dog pyramids
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
wife size receipts
Never guess your wife's size. Just buy anything marked petite and hold on to the receipt.
dog play parent
I was so ugly my parents had to hang a pork chop around my neck to get the dog to play with me.
sexy school high-school
I know I'm not sexy. In high school I was voted Most Likely to Masturbate.