Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfieldwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer and writer, known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme. He is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School...
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth22 November 1921
CityDeer Park, NY
wine funny-relationship men
I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
grandpa waiting christmas-time
At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.
respect doctors needs
With my doctor, I don't get no respect. I told him I want a vasectomy. He said with a face like mine, I don't need one.
funny morning sex
I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.
funny girl humor
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
bisexual years homosexuality
I'm a bisexual; I get it maybe twice a year.
ugly sticks mouths
You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.
horse gun gambling
I tell ya, gambling never agreed with me. Last week I went to the track and they shot my horse with the opening gun.
figures whole-life downers
I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.
wife married found
When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.
funny pregnancy humor
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
school
She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.
wife car looks
I went to look for a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.
funny father humor
When I was born I brought no joy, my father said he wanted a boy!