Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfieldwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer and writer, known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme. He is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School...
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth22 November 1921
CityDeer Park, NY
mother two wife
I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.
sex fighting thinking
My wife and I keep fighting about sex and money. I think she charges me too much.
respect flight frills
I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes.
fire wife making-love
Last week I told my wife, If you would learn to cook, I could fire the chef. She said, If you could learn to make love, I could fire the chauffer.
doctors hammers balls
What a doctor I've got - he's really mixed up. Last week, he grabbed my knee and told me to cough. Then hit me in the balls with a hammer.
sex life-is-like shooting
My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!
beach children parent
I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'.
morning sex night
With sex my wife thinks twice before she turns me down. Yeah, once in the morning and once at night.
cheating thinking wife
I think my wife is cheating on me, the only thing the parrot knows how to say is, quick out the window.
girl men dating
Everyone says that looks don't matter, age doesn't matter, money doesn't matter. But i never met a girl yet who has fallen in love with an old ugly man who's broke.
drinking doctors mirrors
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
funny reading humor
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
drug say-no-to-drugs ask-me
I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs I say, 'no.
men guy wish
A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, "Man, I wish I had your willpower.