Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfieldwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer and writer, known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme. He is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School...
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth22 November 1921
CityDeer Park, NY
funny hate humorous
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
funny beauty crazy
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
funny family uncles
My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
mother rocks climbing
My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.
kids someday hernias
I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own." One of them said, "So will you."
book making-love way
I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.
wife lasts saws
My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
thinking doctors wife
I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.
funny girl humor
A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
girl southern made
I like southern girls. They talk so slow that by the time they say no, I made it already.
wine funny-relationship men
I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
grandpa waiting christmas-time
At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.
respect doctors needs
With my doctor, I don't get no respect. I told him I want a vasectomy. He said with a face like mine, I don't need one.
funny morning sex
I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.