Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfieldwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer and writer, known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme. He is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School...
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth22 November 1921
CityDeer Park, NY
funny kids poor
Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.
party drinking beer
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
funny marriage hilarious
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
girl night numbers
I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
beauty mother doctors
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
funny mother humor
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
sexy guy pants
I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
wife bed opinion
When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.
mean boys night
I tell ya, my wife, we get along good cause we have our own arrangement. I mean, one night a week I go out with the boys and one night a week, she goes out with the boys.
funny humor lessons
She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
marriage dog couple
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
funny cat humor
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
wife house praying
My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.
school
She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.