Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfieldwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer and writer, known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme. He is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School...
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth22 November 1921
CityDeer Park, NY
wife bed opinion
When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.
mean boys night
I tell ya, my wife, we get along good cause we have our own arrangement. I mean, one night a week I go out with the boys and one night a week, she goes out with the boys.
funny humor lessons
She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
marriage dog couple
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
funny cat humor
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
wife house praying
My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.
funny hurt real
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
funny humor eye
For Christmas one year I bought my son a BB gun. He bought me a t-shirt with a bulls eye on the back.
sorry rain people
I feel sorry for short people, you know. When it rains, they're the last to know.
sports hockey fighting
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
funny humor kids
Once when I was lost I asked a policeman to help me find my parents. I said to him, 'Do you think we'll ever find them?' He answered, 'I don't know, kid. There are so many places they can hide.
funny good-morning mother
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
girl two blind
Well with girls I don't get no respect. I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by. I said Are you Louise? She said, Are you Rodney? I said, Yeah. She said, I'm not Louise.
sex fighting night
All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.