Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfieldwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer and writer, known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme. He is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School...
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth22 November 1921
CityDeer Park, NY
funny girl fall
I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to.
funny-love love-you dark
My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
funny yellow ties
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
night muggers mask
The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
baseball father play
My father gave me a bat for Christmas. The first time I tried to play with it, it flew away.
money successful men
I don't care how rich and successful a man is. He's nothing without an education.
wife lovers fractions
I asked my wife, 'On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate me as a lover?' She said, 'You know I'm no good at fractions.'
funny kids poor
Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.
party drinking beer
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
funny marriage hilarious
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
girl night numbers
I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
beauty mother doctors
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
funny mother humor
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
sexy guy pants
I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.