Related Quotes
funny humorous mind
I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it. Charles Dickens
funny morning self
All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.
funny death witty
He would make a lovely corpse.
funny kings humorous
It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.
funny people literature
Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.
funny christmas xmas
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!
funny law people
If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.
funny marriage wedding
Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner. Charles Caleb Colton
funny age fifty
I'm aiming by the time I'm fifty to stop being an adolescent.
cheating hurt pits
Humans live in a pit of cheating, exploiting, hurting, incarcerating. Every time, the species wastes some part of what it could be. This waste is poisonous. David Mitchell
cheating thinking years
This was years ago, I think during the early [Ronald] Reagan years. I came up with a plan that everybody just pay $8.95 in taxes. Cheating would be allowed. But the incentive to cheat wouldn't be nearly as great if you only had to pay the $8.95. There were a few people who would have to pay hundreds of millions of dollars under this plan. I think it was Mark Goodson and Bill Todman, the guys who do the quiz shows. But almost everybody else would be off really cheap. Dave Barry
cheating men
Men are more prone to cheating, definitely. Blu Cantrell
cheating trying ifs
If you're not cheating, you're not trying! Eddie Guerrero
cheating art sake
The moment you cheat for the sake of beauty, you know you're an artist. David Hockney
cheating able kind
Maybe the best things about celebrity are the things like being able to get that seat on the plane that you wouldn't normally get, but that's kind of like cheating. David Duchovny
cheating people perfectionist
I'm a perfectionist. I'm not going to cheat the people. Dick Dale
cheating who-i-am glasses
I have this firm belief that I am who I am for a reason. If I change something, I'm cheating myself of whatever it is I'm supposed to learn from my body. You know, I'm legally blind. I'm 20/750, since I was in fifth grade. I wear glasses and contacts. But I won't even get LASIK. Carrie Ann Inaba
cheating mean kids
You should always give 100%. If you do that then no-one can ask any more of you. Someone once said to me when I was a kid: 'If you're asked to do ten sprints, by all means do 11 but never do nine because you're only cheating yourself'. Alan Shearer
humor envy praise
Expect not praise without envy until you are dead.
humorous eye men
There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as that which supposes every man to be of equal value in its impartial eye, and the benefits of all laws to be equally attainable by all men, without the smallest reference to the furniture of their pockets.
humor shields darts
Good Humor is the best shield against the darts of satirical raillery Charles Simmons
humor want goes-on
The reason we want to go on and on is because we live in an impoverished present. Alan Watts
humor comedian realizing
Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense. Alan Moore
humorous mind looks
Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it. David Sedaris
humorous school world
England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.
humorous son english-history
English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.
humorous rocks design
The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar..