Famous Quotes & Sayings

Charles Caleb Colton

Expect not praise without envy until you are dead.

Charles Dickens

There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as that which supposes every man to be of equal value in its impartial eye, and the benefits of all laws to be equally attainable by all men, without the smallest reference to the furniture of their pockets.

Charles Simmons

Good Humor is the best shield against the darts of satirical raillery

Alan Watts

The reason we want to go on and on is because we live in an impoverished present.

Alan Moore

Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.

David Sedaris

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

Dave Barry

England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

Dave Barry

English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.

Dave Barry

The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar..

Alan Moore

Well, what do you expect? The Comedian is dead.

Dave Chappelle

I've been a comedian since I was fourteen. But I've never really been a CEO.

Nica Burns

The Perrier is about helping to discover new talent. In years to come, this generation of young comedians who are stepping into the spotlight will be setting the heather alight.

Nica Burns

The Perrier is about helping to discover new talent, ... In years to come, this generation of young comedians who are stepping into the spotlight will be setting the heather alight.

Maria Bamford

As far as I can tell, comedians are pretty serious people, and that's why they make fun of things all of the time.

Louis C. K.

Comedians work great as actors because they're good under pressure. With a lot of actors, you have to make them feel like everything's going really well to get a good performance out of them. But, if you have a comedian on the set, you can tell them, 'Hey, you really are screwing this up,' and then they just get better.

Bob Newhart

One of the first things you ever learn as a stand-up is don't show fear.

Bob Newhart

I was influenced by every comedian I ever saw work. That's the only way you learn how to do it.

Bo Burnham

I'm friends with a lot of comedians, but we don't talk about material. Most comedians I know don't watch a lot of other comedy.

Alan Watts

The question is not what I should do in the future to get it, but rather, what am I presently doing that prevents me from realizing it right now?

Alan Watts

I too realize that the less I preach the more likely I am to be heard.

David D. Burns

Accept yourself. But realize your behaviors can be bad.

Byron Katie

You can’t change what you haven’t realized yet. Once you realize what you were asleep to, the change happens on its own.

Cary Elwes

The things that you know intellectually when you're young become internalized as you get older. You realize all those clichés.

Casey Stengel

Do you realize how good you have to be to strike out 2000 times?

Kurt Vonnegut

You realize, of course, that everything I say is horseshit.

Mark Cuban

I'm a big believer that you always reiterate, you always learn, you always realize your business is evolving.

Edith Stein

Anyone who seeks truth seeks God, whether or not he realizes it.