Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfieldwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer and writer, known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme. He is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School...
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth22 November 1921
CityDeer Park, NY
born morning mother sickness ugly
I'm so ugly - My mother had morning sickness - After I was born
funny girl morning
I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."
morning wind people
People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.
funny morning humor
I went to see my doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...I told him once, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."
funny good-morning mother
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
morning laughing guy
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
morning four flight
When you walk up five flights of stairs at four in the morning, there's definitely a hooker involved.
morning nice drinking
My life is nothing but pressure. All pressure. This pressure is like a heaviness. It's always on top of me, this heaviness. It's always there since I'm a kid. Other people wake up in the morning, 'A new day! Ah, up and at 'em!' I wake up, the heaviness is waiting for me nice. Sometimes I even talk to it. I say [adopts cheerful voice] 'Hi, heaviness!' and the heaviness looks back at me, [in an ominous growl] 'Today you're gonna get it good. You'll be drinking early today.'
good-morning traps mice
I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.
morning sex night
With sex my wife thinks twice before she turns me down. Yeah, once in the morning and once at night.
funny morning sex
I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.
came carries father fathers kid picture ugly wallet
I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet
asking kept people pet ugly worked
I'm so ugly - I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get
girl nobody
girl phoned me the other day and said .... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.