Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfieldwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer and writer, known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme. He is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School...
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth22 November 1921
CityDeer Park, NY
disappointment eight know-it-all
You live with life's disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.
faces ugly sundials
She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.
arms way cover-ups
He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.
funny humor boys
Boy what a hotel that was, why they stole my towel.
funny halloween rip
Last Halloween a kid tried to rip my face off. He thought it was a mask. Now it's different when I open the door the kids hand me candy.
funny humor freak
I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
mother pittsburgh found
One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!
funny girl morning
I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."
funny humor wife
My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."
funny humor lovers
I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
funny humor house
I'll tell ya, I don't get no respect... The other day, I got back from a business trip. I got in a cab and said to the driver, "Hey! Take me to where the action is!" So ya know where he took me? He took me to my house!
funny sex humor
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.
zoos children kids
I live in a tough neighborhood. They got a children's zoo. Last week, four kids escaped.
fighting parent custody
When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. ... and no one showed up.