Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfieldwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer and writer, known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme. He is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School...
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth22 November 1921
CityDeer Park, NY
funny humor fats
She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
funny beach sorry
My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water.
funny girl humor
I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.
funny humor self
My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.
marriage giving wife
My wife gives good headache.
morning wind people
People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.
dog play wife
We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and play dead.
mother father childhood
My childhood was bad. No father. Mother was greedy and brought me up awful - never made me breakfast once. I don't want to get started. One story is worse than another.
motivational positive work
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
wife singing nineteen
I got my first break and became a singing waiter at eighteen or nineteen. I couldn't make a living at it. I quit. Then I got married and sold aluminum siding. My wife had problems physically. It was not good.
son golf ankles
My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.
mother jobs new-york
When I was forty, I was getting divorced, living in a low-class, dirty hotel in New York. My mother was dying of cancer. I owed $20,000. That was about the lowest. I came back to show business, and I couldn't get a job. I was turned down by every small-time agent in New York.
funny success humor
Life is just a bowl of pits.
baby agreement years
After I got divorced, I said to myself, I will never, ever get married again. It was in cement. I went through a really rough twenty-five years, but it happened again. I fell in love. I told her, Baby, I don't want a prenuptial agreement. This is it. Everyone told me I was nuts. Well, my new wife and I are married six years and we get along great. You can make anything work if you're both givers.