Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfieldwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer and writer, known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme. He is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School...
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth22 November 1921
CityDeer Park, NY
funny home men
One day as I came home early, I saw a man jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey, buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'
mother sex men
When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.
suicidal kids cutting
I was an ugly kid; when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.
Life's a short trip. You'll find out.
funny dog reading
What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
wife chocolate made
My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
funny real humor
I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
home wife pot
Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
funny suicide humor
Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.
boys years birth-control
One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
marriage sex humorous
With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!
funny mother humor
My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
wife bed yeah
I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.
drinking sleep doctors
I told my doctor, "I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills" and he told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.