Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfieldwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer and writer, known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme. He is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School...
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth22 November 1921
CityDeer Park, NY
dog ugly firsts
She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.
kids want dollars
We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again.
mother running respect
When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark...
family running men
With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff.
wife dinner teeth
I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.
heaven woe way
A sense of humor is rare. It isn't telling a joke about how there are three ways to get to heaven. It's being in a restaurant and hearing someone say, Everyone's got their tale of woe, and then turning around and saying, Unfortunately, in life, there's more woe than tail.
dog wife worst
My wife has to be the worst cook. I've got the only dog who begs for alka-seltzer.
funny zoos humor
My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There is a pair of shoes on the dashboard. They belong to the last guy she hit
jealousy wife calendars
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
birthday baby baby-pictures
People seldom live up to their baby pictures.
funny halloween humor
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
wife guy tests
My wife had her drivers’ test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.
doctors looks faces
When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!"
funny motivational comedy
I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.