Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfieldwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer and writer, known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme. He is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School...
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth22 November 1921
CityDeer Park, NY
funny girl humor
I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint-a Saint Bernard!
funny girl humor
I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.
funny girl sex
I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.
funny girlfriend humor
And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!
funny humor kids
When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again."
wife said my-wife
I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
funny humor home
I come home from work early one day, and I see a guy jogging down the street in his underwear. I ask him, "Why are you jogging in your underwear?" He says, "You came home from work early".
dog doors want
With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.
moving home night
One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
funny humor wife
One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
funny girl humor
I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.
funny sex humor
I tell ya, sex is getting harder all the time. Me and my wife were trying to have sex for hours last night and I finally gave up. I asked her, "what, you can't think of anybody either?"
funny stupid father
I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
two numbers trying
Look out for number one and try not to step in number two.