Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfieldwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer and writer, known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme. He is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School...
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth22 November 1921
CityDeer Park, NY
wind age envious
At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind.
two guy radio
I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires.
ducks steps hey
Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
funny children humor
I was a poster child... for birth control!
funny morning humor
I went to see my doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...I told him once, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."
funny humor cake
Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
home lakes water
When my wife drives, there's always trouble. The other day she took the car. She came home. She told me, There's water in the carburetor. I asked her, Where's the car? She said, In a lake.
beauty beautiful eye
If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.
kids dancer littles
Oh, when I was a kid, I was poor. Christmas, I got no presents. Well, there was one Christmas, on our front lawn - Prancer and Dancer - they dropped off a little something.
sex pain ass
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
funny humor subway
I once asked a policeman how far it was to the subway. he said, "I don't know, no one has ever made it".
lonely bottom lonely-at-the-top
It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.
happiness writing reality
I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.
school kids home
We lived in a neighborhood that was too rich for us. When I was young, I had to deliver groceries to the homes of the kids I went to school with. I had to go to the back doors to make the deliveries. It was embarrassing. That was one thing out of a hundred.