Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfieldwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer and writer, known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme. He is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School...
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth22 November 1921
CityDeer Park, NY
thinking people quiet
Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
thinking people southern
I tell ya, southern people, they always think you are hard-of-hearing. Every timr you leave they say to you, You come back, you hear? And southern people, they think you are horny too. You get directions, they say, Just up the road apiece.
girl thinking mirrors
With girls, I don't think right. I had a date with one girl, she had mirrors all over her bedroom. She told me to come over and bring a bottle. I got Windex.
inspirational sex thinking
I'm at an age where I think more about food than I do about sex. Last week I put a mirror over my dining room table.
marriage thinking wife
Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?'
funny humor thinking
I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!
sex fighting thinking
My wife and I keep fighting about sex and money. I think she charges me too much.
cheating thinking wife
I think my wife is cheating on me, the only thing the parrot knows how to say is, quick out the window.
thinking doctors wife
I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.
born morning mother sickness ugly
I'm so ugly - My mother had morning sickness - After I was born
came carries father fathers kid picture ugly wallet
I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet
asking kept people pet ugly worked
I'm so ugly - I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get
girl nobody
girl phoned me the other day and said .... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.
cat children covering kept kid played ugly
I was such an ugly kid - When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up