Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfieldwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer and writer, known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme. He is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School...
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth22 November 1921
CityDeer Park, NY
drinking zombie bartending
Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
drinking viagra juice
I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.
drinking sleep doctors
I told my doctor, "I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills" and he told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
party drinking beer
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
morning nice drinking
My life is nothing but pressure. All pressure. This pressure is like a heaviness. It's always on top of me, this heaviness. It's always there since I'm a kid. Other people wake up in the morning, 'A new day! Ah, up and at 'em!' I wake up, the heaviness is waiting for me nice. Sometimes I even talk to it. I say [adopts cheerful voice] 'Hi, heaviness!' and the heaviness looks back at me, [in an ominous growl] 'Today you're gonna get it good. You'll be drinking early today.'
drinking doctors mirrors
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
birth boy control poster year
One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control
cat children covering kept kid played ugly
I was such an ugly kid - When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up
boy funny growing poor
I was so poor growing up - if I wasn't a boy - I'd have had nothing to play with
born doctor face funny took turned
When I was born the doctor took one look at my face .... turned me over and said. Look ... twins!
girl nobody
girl phoned me the other day and said .... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.
american-comedian happy twenty wife
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met!
funny mind second ugly
My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him .... If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion. He said .... Alright.... you're ugly too!
american-comedian liked mother
My mother never breast-fed me. She told me she liked me as a friend.