Doug Stanhope
Doug Stanhope
Douglas Stanhope is an American stand-up comedian, actor, and author known for his cynical and controversial comedy style and libertarian political views...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 March 1967
CityWorcester, MA
CountryUnited States of America
thinking people wonder
I'm not the one-take wonder that a lot people think I am.
kings dvds who-i-am
The only way I thought I could do a greatest hits album is to do it in a prison where they have no f**king idea who I am. I'd do what I consider the best of those old, early CDs before I did DVDs. A women's prison would be even better, but it has to be English-speaking.
teacher school today
What did you learn in school that you still use today? Go ahead teachers, tell me. What? Fear, conformity, don't question authority...
hands people killing
If second hand smoke is killing that many people and nicotine is so addictive then why is no one addicted to second hand smoke?
america giving credit
America takes credit for giving you freedom that you had anyway. It's like going to a wedding and putting your tag on somebody elses box.
baby war excuse-you
The only legitimate excuse you could have for having a baby in those dire, war torn, famine struck conditions - would be to eat it.
believe want comedy
I believe that everyone should be treated as an individual. Women should be treated equally in the right to vote, sure. But if Im paying to see a comedy, then I just want to see whos funniest, with everyone treated equally.
funny jobs humor
I couldn't be a responsible enough parent if my kid was born with a new suit and a full-time job.
men order skills
There are some occasions in which a man must tell half his secret, in order to conceal the rest; but there is seldom one in which a man should tell all. Great skill is necessary to know how far to go, and where to stop.
hands idols people
People want an idol. They want royalty. They don't want a public servant. Hell no. They want someone to clap for and go, "Oh, he touched my hand at the rally!"
funny beautiful baby
Babies are like poems. They're beautiful to their creator, but to other people, they're silly and they're irritating.
instinct true-god
Your instinct is your true god. Follow it.
world homosexuality this-society
When you consider the overpopulation in this world ... homosexuality is completely underrated in this society.
athletic musical attention
I had no musical or athletic ability, and I wasnt particularly good looking. Comedy was something I could do for attention.