Doug Stanhope
Doug Stanhope
Douglas Stanhope is an American stand-up comedian, actor, and author known for his cynical and controversial comedy style and libertarian political views...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 March 1967
CityWorcester, MA
CountryUnited States of America
motivation acceptance gun
I don't have a gun. But I think they level the playing field. I accept that there's really nothing you can do about it. It's like nuclear weapons; if they exist then eventually other people are going to have them. Maybe just take away people's motivation to use them.
funny baby humor
Mutations are exciting. They try to fix 'em when they come out. Did you see the two-headed baby they killed last month when they tried to cut it apart? That was hilarious!
boring reason temporary
Life's temporary for a reason; it gets boring after a while.
stupid stupidity tradition
All traditions are stupid unless you came up with it yourself.
drinking people age
Canada, the drinking age is 18, that's unnecessary. Nobody wants to get loaded around people who have hope and their whole lives still ahead of them.
good-things
I do good things in my life, too. It's just that none of them are funny.
fighting drug should
Invent new drugs, that's what you should be doing... fight to get new weirder ones... and weirder establishments to do them in.
gay pride night
I immediately split the crowd. I thought about coming on every night and shouting, Gay pride, white power! just to confuse people.
waiting parent wallets
I don't know. Both my parents are dead. So? Wait, I got pictures of their corpses in my wallet. I had them blown up as murals. Here.
jobs artist people
Artists who say that they're artists: usually people who need a job.
cds dvds ems
Steal my stuff off the internet wherever you can and don't apologize. Buy the CDs and DVDs from my site and feel free to burn 'em and share 'em. Then come to the show.
funny humor drunk
Complaining that a comic is drunk is like going to a titty bar and complaining because your lapdancer is a communist.
stupid
Anything that I don't understand or can't do is stupid.
sex order needs
Raccoons don't need to do poppers in order to come while they're having anonymous same-sex interludes in a highway rest area.