Doug Stanhope
Doug Stanhope
Douglas Stanhope is an American stand-up comedian, actor, and author known for his cynical and controversial comedy style and libertarian political views...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 March 1967
CityWorcester, MA
CountryUnited States of America
funny running sex
Sex is a very narrow avenue. You only have so many holes and parts, and eventually, you run out of things to do.
thinking unions lines
I think a lot of women look at prostitutes like they're scabs crossing an union picket line, where they go: You can't just go out and sell it for what it's worth, we're holding out for so much more!
sex kids house
Have you ever thought about registering as a sex offender just so your friends won't bring their kids over to your house?
children parent language
If you're offended by any word in any language, it's probably because your parents were unfit to raise a child.
long goal society
Shouldn't the long-term goal of any society be complete unemployment?
mean perfect paper
One UK paper described me as a "miserablist", a word I'd never heard before or since. I looked it up and it means someone who can only be happy when they are miserable. Perfect.
funny addiction enjoy
There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.
leader what-if want
What if I don't want a leader? Where does that vote go? I do good on my own. I don't want to be led.
party people want
People who want to kill other people are the last people I want to party with, because I get mouthy when I drink.
atheist two news
You never hear in the news, 'Two hundred killed today when atheist rebels took heavy shelling from the agnostic stronghold in the north.'
two people drug
There's only two types of people who are against drugs: the people who have never done drugs and the people who really sucked at doing drugs.
hate pride race
Race, Religion, Ethnic Pride, Nationalism does nothing but teach you how to hate people you have never met
winning laughing mind
Whatever your problems are, keep in mind that you die at the end of all this. Lets get out there, brutalize ourselves and laugh at those certain pricks who take it seriously, like there is any way to win in all this.
unique doctors interesting
I was terrified when my doctor told me that I had a unique and interesting personality trait, but then he told me about new Zoloft or Prozac and now I just take three pills a day and I blend right into this horrible inbred corporate landscape.