Famous Quotes & Sayings

Will Rogers

The Democrats are going to change the name of the Hoover Dam. That is the silliest thing I ever heard of in politics . . . Lord if they feel that way about it, I don't see why they don't just reverse the two words.

Will Rogers

Every Harvard class should have one Democrat to rescue it from oblivion.

Will Rogers

There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income.

Will Rogers

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.

W. C. Fields

Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)

W. C. Fields

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

Wayne Dyer

I am realistic – I expect miracles.

William Bernbach

Just because your ad looks good is no insurance that it will get looked at. How many people do you know who are impeccably groomed... but dull?

Wendy Wasserstein

Personally I don't spend much time thinking about being funny. For me it's always been just a way to get by, a way to be likable yet to remain removed. When I speak up, it's not because I have any particular answers; rather, I have a desire to puncture the pretentiousness of those who seem so certain they do.

Wendy Wasserstein

being funny is a way of being liked and a way of dealing with sadness.

Samuel Richardson

Married people should not be quick to hear what is said by either when in ill humor.

Samuel Richardson

From sixteen to twenty, all women, kept in humor by their hopes and by their attractions, appear to be good-natured.

Samuel Foote

So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage leaf to make an apple pie; and at the same time a great she-bear, coming up the street pops its head into the shop. What! no soap? So he died, and she very imprudently married the barber; and there were present the Picninnies, and the Grand Panjandrum himself, with the little round button at top, and they all fell to playing the game of catch as catch can, till the gunpowder ran out at the heels of their boots.

Samuel Goldwyn

Coffee isn't my cup of tea.

Konrad Lorenz

We do not take humor seriously enough.

Konrad Lorenz

Humor and knowledge are the two great hopes of our culture.

L. Ron Hubbard

It is considered in England and the United States that the Government of South Africa is altogether too harsh with its native peoples. It is sadly humorous to notice that the native in South Africa, however, holds an exactly reverse opinion and the fault he finds with the South African Government is that it is far too lenient in its administration of laws throughout the native populace.

Terry Bradshaw

I want to help people, give hope to all. Humor is the foundation of our lives.

Ted Lange

I've always tried to explore the humorous aspects of life.

Sean O'Casey

Nothing seems too high or low for the humorist; he is above honor, above faith, preserving sense in religion and sanity in life.

Sean O'Casey

Oh Lord, give us a sense of humor with courage to manifest it forth, so that we may laugh to shame the pomps, the vanities, the sense of self-importance of the Big Fellows that the world sometimes sends among us, and who try to take our peace away.

Neil Simon

He's too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.

Samuel Johnson

An exotic and irrational entertainment.

Samuel Johnson

Those who attain any excellence, commonly spend life in one pursuit; for excellence is not often gained upon easier terms.

Robertson Davies

The people who fear humor - and they are many - are suspicious of its power to present things in unexpected lights, to question received opinions and to suggest unforeseen possibilities.

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

I'm really interested in the link between creativity and humor because humor is a type of creativity, and I do think that humorous people and humorous health helps creativity.

Walt Kelly

Now is the time for all good men to come to.

Toby Young

I really like the Observer. I think I'd love to have a column with a broad reach that would enable me to do some proper reporting, but keep it on sort of a humorous level. I've always had a very happy experience writing for them.

Ronald Reagan

I think we should keep the grain and export the farmers.

Ronald Reagan

[Andrew Jackson] was actually 70 years old when he left the White House

Ronald Reagan

Well, I would - if they realized that we - again if - if we led them back to that stalemate only because our retaliatory power, our seconds, or strike at them after our first strike, would be so destructive they they couldn't afford it, that would hold them off.