Famous Quotes & Sayings

Thomas Jefferson

Above all things, and at all times, practice yourself in good humor.

Robert Reich

Averages don't always reveal the most telling realities. You know, Shaquille O'Neal and I have an average height of 6 feet.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

I'm really interested in the link between creativity and humor because humor is a type of creativity, and I do think that humorous people and humorous health helps creativity.

Walt Kelly

Now is the time for all good men to come to.

Washington Irving

The oil and wine of merry meeting.

Washington Irving

He that drinks beer, thinks beer.

William Feather

An uncontrolled sense of humor is often costly in business.

Walter Scott

What an ornament and safeguard is humor! Far better than wit for a poet and writer. It is a genius itself, and so defends from the insanities.

Winifred Holtby

A sense of humor is so handy, isn't it? It lets you see both sides of a question so that you never need do anything.

Winston Churchill

Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting.

Winston Churchill

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

Winston Churchill

Show me a young Conservative and I'll show you someone with no heart. Show me an old Liberal and I'll show you someone with no brains.

William S. Paley

He who attacks the fundamentals of the American broadcasting industry attacks democracy itself.

Woody Allen

At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings.

Woody Allen

Notes for a ballet, The Spell: ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of wings, and a group of wild swans flies across the moon ... Sigmund is astounded to see that their leader is part swan and part woman - unfortunately, divided lengthwise. She enchants Sigmund, who is careful not to make any poultry jokes ...

Woody Allen

Should I marry W.? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.

Woody Allen

Sygmnd was a poor Austrian who'd lost all the vowels in his name in a boating accident.

William F. Buckley, Jr.

I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob.

Winston Churchill

Atlee is a very modest man. And with reason.

Will Shetterly

Unless you're writing for a humorous effect, elves or space aliens and all creatures who aren't human should at least be as strange as, oh, the French.

Will Rogers

I have always noticed that people will never laugh at anything that is not based on truth.

Will Rogers

The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live off each other, while the Republicans, why, they live off the Democrats.

Will Rogers

The Democrats are going to change the name of the Hoover Dam. That is the silliest thing I ever heard of in politics . . . Lord if they feel that way about it, I don't see why they don't just reverse the two words.

Will Rogers

Every Harvard class should have one Democrat to rescue it from oblivion.

Will Rogers

There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income.

Will Rogers

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.

W. C. Fields

Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)

W. C. Fields

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

W. Somerset Maugham

The humorist has a good eye for the humbug; he does not always recognize the saint.

Yakov Smirnoff

In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.

William Makepeace Thackeray

Humor is wit and love.

William Makepeace Thackeray

Humor is the mistress of tears.