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humorous eye men
There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as that which supposes every man to be of equal value in its impartial eye, and the benefits of all laws to be equally attainable by all men, without the smallest reference to the furniture of their pockets. Charles Dickens
humorous mind looks
Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it. David Sedaris
humorous school world
England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria. Dave Barry
humorous son english-history
English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son. Dave Barry
humorous rocks design
The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar.. Dave Barry
humorous years europe
The Romans spent the next 200 years using their great engineering skill to construct ruins all over Europe. Dave Barry
humorous keys germany
One key lesson of history is that virtually anything, including afternoon or evening thundershowers, causes Germany to invade Belgium. Dave Barry
humorous gambling blood
Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship. Dave Barry
humorous hotel-lobby france
Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road; Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk; and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby. Dave Barry
should-have brethren has-beens
Brethren, who are we that God should have been so good to us? Charles Spurgeon
should-have numbers church
Mr. Brown had thought of nothing but numbers. He should have known that the kingdom of God did not depend on large crowds. Our Lord Himself stressed the importance of fewness. Narrow is the way and few the number. To fill the Lord's holy temple with an idolatrous crowd clamoring for signs was a folly of everlasting consequence. Our Lord used the whip only once in His life - to drive the crowd away from His church. Chinua Achebe
should-have two three
My core belief is that if you're complaining about something for more than three minutes, two minutes ago you should have done something about it. Caitlin Moran
should-have hey douchebags
Oh, hey, maybe I should have mentioned that my friends are retarded douchebags. Bryan Lee O'Malley
should-have funny-money enough
Everyone should have enough money to get plastic surgery Beverly Johnson
should-have aging wonderful
Aging has a wonderful beauty and we should have respect for that. Eartha Kitt
should-have people dentist
We've got to let the people know that there is a necessity, it's not even an option, it's a necessity to have a chiropractor. As much as it is a necessity to have a dentist, if you have a dentist for the family, you should have your chiropractor for the family. Arnold Schwarzenegger
should-have people today
Today, many people take for granted the notion that people whose lives are going to be very heavily affected by public policies should have a say in how they are formulated and carried out. Barney Frank
should-have trying liberty
And now that the legislators and do-gooders have so futilely inflicted so many systems upon society, may they finally end where they should have begun: May they reject all systems, and try liberty; for liberty is an acknowledgment of faith in God and His works Frederic Bastiat
class two people
Mr Jarndyce, and prevented his going any farther, when he had remarked that there were two classes of charitable people: one, the people who did a little and made a great deal of noise; the other, the people who did a great deal and made no noise at all. Charles Dickens
class words-of-wisdom success-of-others
The worst class of sum worked in the every-day world is cyphered by the diseased arithmeticians who are always in the rule of Subtraction as to the merits and successes of others, and never in Addition as to their own. Charles Dickens
class safety age
Though we are perpetually bragging of it [the middle class] as our safety, it is nothing but a poor fringe on the mantle of the upper class. Charles Dickens
class citizens degradation
The American elite is almost beyond redemption. . . . Moral relativism has set in so deeply that the gilded classes have become incapable of discerning right from wrong. Everything can be explained away, especially by journalists. Life is one great moral mush--sophistry washed down with Chardonnay. The ordinary citizens, thank goodness, still adhere to absolutes.... It is they who have saved the republic from creeping degradation while their 'betters' were derelict. Charles Dickens
class homicide one-thing
When one thing takes another away, what do we call that?” she asked my class. “Homicide!” I called out Chris Colfer
class two people
There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece. Dave Barry
class people behaviour
Whatever people may say, the fastidious formal manner of the upper classes is preferable to the slovenly easygoing behaviour of the common middle class. In moments of crisis, the former know how to act, the latter become uncouth brutes. Cesare Pavese
class black why-not
Why not exploit, enslave, or exterminate a class that everybody is taught to regard as inferior? Carter G. Woodson
class white benefits
I regard affirmative action as pernicious-a system that had wonderful ideals when it started but was almost immediately abused for the benefit of white middle-class women. Camille Paglia