Famous Quotes & Sayings

Charles Dickens

There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as that which supposes every man to be of equal value in its impartial eye, and the benefits of all laws to be equally attainable by all men, without the smallest reference to the furniture of their pockets.

David Sedaris

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

Dave Barry

England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

Dave Barry

English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.

Dave Barry

The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar..

Dave Barry

The Romans spent the next 200 years using their great engineering skill to construct ruins all over Europe.

Dave Barry

One key lesson of history is that virtually anything, including afternoon or evening thundershowers, causes Germany to invade Belgium.

Dave Barry

Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship.

Dave Barry

Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road; Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk; and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.

Camille Paglia

How many modern transsexuals are unacknowledged shamans? Perhaps it is to poets they should go for counsel, rather than surgeons.

Barry Commoner

The modern technologist is less 'sorcerer' and more 'sorcerer's apprentice'.

Dan Stevens

I would like to do something modern and possibly funny.

Corin Nemec

It is a Modern day, and these times need Modern solutions to Modern problems.

Albert Einstein

If I had it [life] to do all over again, I'd have been a plumber.

Fred Greenstein

When a presidency has been turned around, particularly the modern presidency, there's often an outside element.

Sally Deering

There are no four-letter words or vulgarity. It's got modern themes, but they are presented in an old-fashioned way.

Dean Miller

I don't think people want chains. People want modern conveniences, but they don't want chains.

George R. R. Martin

The success that the Tolkien books had redefined modern fantasy.