Famous Quotes & Sayings

A. Whitney Brown

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

A. Whitney Brown

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Rick Allen

But it's funny that now I'm in such a happy situation, I look more objectively at my own past and see what others have seen for a long time and I'm just so glad I've been able to get to this point.

Sanjeev Bhaskar

I was greatly influenced by 'The Goons' and 'Monty Python' reconstituting what comedy was - it could come from a funny word, not just a set up and a pay-off. I liked the zaniness; they were satirical, slightly saucy and very literary in their references.

Too many writers get stuck in the trap of writing what they think is funny and not considering who they are writing it for.

Stan Freberg

The decision as to what's funny and what is not funny shall rest solely with Mr. Freberg.

Abbie Hoffman

Avoid all needle drugs, the only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.

A. E. Housman

In every American there is an air of incorrigible innocence, which seems to conceal a diabolical cunning.

A. A. Milne

Life is so much friendlier with two.

A. A. Milne

A pekingeese is not a pet dog; he is an undersized lion.

A. A. Milne

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Janeane Garofalo

I don't really have funny things to say about politics. I wish I did, but I don't.

Aeschylus

It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.

Agatha Christie

Every murderer is probably somebody's old friend.

Agatha Christie

No, my friend, I am not drunk. I have just been to the dentist, and need not return for another six months! Is it not the most beautiful thought? --Poirot

Addison Mizner

Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it.

Adam Smith

Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this - no dog exchanges bones with another.

Adam Lambert

'Come out' is so funny to me because I've never been in.

Abraham Lincoln

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

Abraham Lincoln

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

Jean Kerr

Hope is the feeling that the feeling you have isn't permanent.

Ashton Kutcher

I don't think I'm a funny person in general. I have had to learn comedy.

Amanda Peet

If you think about it, there aren't that many women who are in their 40s, who are Jewish and funny and stage-worthy.

Amy Jo Johnson

I can't imagine actually singing on this show like I did on 'Felicity', but it would be kind of funny.

Ambrose Bierce

Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.

Charles Nelson Reilly

The thing that's funny is that everyone thinks I'm dead.

Derek Hough

I think for me, the thing that gets me in the right mindset is just watching something funny, something light, something that makes me feel good. Regardless of what it is - when you feel good, when you feel upbeat, creativity flows!

Derek Hough

Can someone's true value really be estimated? Maybe there needs to be an Edmunds.com for people on TV. That would be funny and possibly cruel.

Chandler Parsons

I'm very lighthearted, outgoing, friendly, and funny, so I like to try new things.

Tis but a scratch''A scratch?! Your arm's off!''No, it isn't.

Lucy Punch

I personally do not find puke funny. I find it disgusting.

Lucy Punch

As long as it's funny, there's no such thing as too far.

Lucy Punch

Someone told me I had funny facial expressions. I don't know whether I take that as a compliment or not, but.