Famous Quotes & Sayings

Benjamin Franklin

If you would know the value of money, go and try to borrow some.

Benjamin Franklin

A penny saved is a penny earned.

Benjamin Franklin

He that lieth down with Dogs, shall rise up with Fleas.

Benjamin Franklin

Many foxes grow gray but few grow good.

Benjamin Franklin

I guess I don't so much mind being old, as I mind being fat and old.

Axl Rose

I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

Avril Lavigne

As humans we speak one language...

Arthur Bloch

Friends come and go but enemies accumulate.

Arthur Balfour

He has only half learned the art of reading who has not added to it the more refined art of skipping and skimming.

Arthur C. Clarke

Every revolutionary idea seems to evoke three stages of reaction. They may be summed up by the phrases: 1- It's completely impossible. 2- It's possible, but it's not worth doing. 3- I said it was a good idea all along.

Anton Chekhov

He who desires nothing, hopes for nothing, and is afraid of nothing, cannot be an artist.

Anton Chekhov

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

Bella Abzug

I prefer the word 'homemaker' because 'housewife' always implies that there may be a wife someplace else.

Baltasar Gracian

Better mad with the rest of the world than wise alone.

Arturo Toscanini

After I die, I shall return to earth as a gatekeeper of a bordello and I won't let any of you enter.

Anthony Trollope

Life is so unlike theory.

Anthony Trollope

Don't let love interfere with your appetite. It never does with mine.

Demi Lovato

I love having a boyfriend but need to be secure on my own first.

Demetri Martin

I noticed that there are no B batteries. I think that's to avoid confusion, cause if there were you wouldn't know if someone was stuttering. 'Yes, hello I'd like some b-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries!' and D-batteries that's hard for foreigners. 'Yes, I would like de batteries.'

Demetri Martin

There's a store in my neighborhood called Futon World. I like that name, 'Futon World.' Makes me think of a magical place that gets less and less comfortable over time.

Demetri Martin

I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar.

Demetri Martin

Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest.

Demetri Martin

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

Demetri Martin

I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'.

Demetri Martin

A lot of people don't like bumper stickers. I don't mind bumper stickers. To me a bumper sticker is a shortcut. It's like a little sign that says 'Hey, let's never hang out.'

Demetri Martin

My friend has hand soap that smells like coconut. It's nice. Unless your hands are dirty from coconuts.

Demetri Martin

Sometimes I feel like I'm making a connection with a stranger, but then it turns out I'm not. Like, I was in a mall, and I saw this lady hitting her kid. So I went up to her, and I was like, "Yeah, get him!" She got all mad at me. I was like, "I'm on your side here."

Demetri Martin

One of my favorite clothing patterns is camouflage. Because when you're in the woods it makes you blend in. But when you're not it does just the opposite. It's like "hey, there's an asshole."

Demetri Martin

Canoe + waterfall = I don't go camping anymore.

Demetri Martin

My friend named his car. And I don't want to be judgemental, but... what a dork.

Demetri Martin

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.

Demetri Martin

I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.

Demetri Martin

When someone describes themself as a taxpayer, they're about to be an asshole.