Famous Quotes & Sayings

Dave Barry

My wife, like many women, actually LIKES wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness.

Bryan White

Christmas makes me happy no matter what time of year it comes around.

Arlo Guthrie

What's in that pipe that he's smoking?

Andy Borowitz

Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.

Andy Borowitz

Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.

Conan O'Brien

There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right?

Jimmy Roy

We have a small, tight family. I left home at a young age and the best thing for me was to go home at Christmas-time and spend time with my family and friends. It's kind of funny, most people do turkey and all the trimmings, but we would have a big seafood festival because it's the only time of the year that we'd eat it. We never really went caroling, but once in a while we'd got out for a sleigh ride

Louis C. K.

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

John Leo

The principal advantage of the non-parental lifestyle is that on Christmas Eve you need not be struck dumb by the three most terrifying words that the government allows to be printed on any product: "Some assembly required."

Charles Caleb Colton

None are so fond of secrets as those who do not mean to keep them; such persons covet secrets as a spendthrift covets money, for the purpose of circulation.

Charles Caleb Colton

Alas! What is man? Whether he be deprived of that light which is from on high, of whether he discard it, a frail and trembling creature; standing on time, that bleak and narrow isthmus between two eternities, he sees nothing but impenetrable darkness on the one hand, and doubt, distrust, and conjecture, still more perplexing, on the other. Most gladly would he take an observation, as to whence he has come, or whither he is going; alas, he has not the means: his telescope is too dim, his compass too wavering, his plummet too short.

Charles Caleb Colton

None are so fond of secrets as those who do not mean to keep them.

Charles Caleb Colton

We ask advice but we mean approbation.

Charles Caleb Colton

Worldly wisdom dictates to her disciples the propriety of dressing somewhat beyond their means, but of living somewhat within them.

Charles Caleb Colton

He that dies a martyr proves that he was not a knave, but by no means that he was not a fool.

Charles Caleb Colton

It is not every man that can afford to wear a shabby coat; and worldly wisdom dictates to her disciples the propriety of dressing somewhat beyond their means, but of living somewhat within them,--for every one, sees how we dress, but none see how we live, except we choose to let them. But the truly great are, by universal suffrage, exempted from these trammels, an may live or dress as they please.

Charles Dickens

Constancy in love is a good thing; but it means nothing, and is nothing, without constancy in every kind of effort.

Charles Sturt

The main consideration with those who, possessing some capital, propose to emigrate as the means of improving their condition, is, the society likely to be found in the land fixed on for their future residence.

Chita Rivera

My hairdresser and I found ourselves shopping at Bloomingdale's with nothing to do for days.

Cathy Guisewite

The specific story line that people have responded to the most has been the horror of bathing suit shopping.

Cat Deeley

I don't shop because I need something, I just shop for shopping's sake.

Agnes Repplier

Bargaining is essential to the life of the world; but nobody has ever claimed that it is an ennobling process.

Mark LaNeve

When we are on consumers' shopping lists, we like our chances.

Edgar Guest

I take the family shopping round. The markets of the world.

Ayaan Hirsi Ali

Every time you take a train, step into your car, walk into the shopping mall, go to the airport - every single time, something could happen. That's how terrorism works.

Diane Ackerman

We're dabbling in eugenics all the time, breeding ideal crops to replace less aesthetic or nutritious or hardy varieties; leveling forests to graze cattle or erect shopping malls and condos; planting groves of a few familiar trees that homeowners and industries prefer.

Delta Burke

And then, I do love my shopping, but actually, lounging is the big thing.