Famous Quotes & Sayings

Dave Barry

My wife, like many women, actually LIKES wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness.

Bryan White

Christmas makes me happy no matter what time of year it comes around.

Arlo Guthrie

What's in that pipe that he's smoking?

Andy Borowitz

Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.

Andy Borowitz

Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.

Conan O'Brien

There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right?

Publilius Syrus

Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.

Jimmy Roy

We have a small, tight family. I left home at a young age and the best thing for me was to go home at Christmas-time and spend time with my family and friends. It's kind of funny, most people do turkey and all the trimmings, but we would have a big seafood festival because it's the only time of the year that we'd eat it. We never really went caroling, but once in a while we'd got out for a sleigh ride

Louis C. K.

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

Robert Jenkins

It was not my intention whatsoever for the Japanese government to try to get me out of trouble. And I really appreciate the Japanese government for all they have done for me.

Robert W. Welch, Jr.

The word democracy comes from the Greek and means, literally, government by the people.

Robert Toombs

Neither these statesmen nor their constituents sought in any way to use the Government for the interest of themselves or their section, or for the injury of a single member of the Confederacy.

Kurt Andersen

The mistrust of government that blossomed in the late '60s has become a chronic and in some ways pathological condition.

David Scott

Make no mistake about it, my friends - Republicans, the American people are never going to forget that it was you who shut down the government of the people.

Linda Tripp

Loyalty is to the government. I take this so seriously.

Hoshyar Zebari

left to the Kuwaiti government itself and its estimation about the situation in Iraq.

Tasnim Aslam

No one in the Pakistan government has made such a request that such maps be removed.

David Williams

No one in government is making hard choices,

Dan Buenning

Maybe we're just too dumb to know we shouldn't be doing this. And we really don't care.

Turkish Proverb

If a man would live in peace he should be blind, deaf, and dumb

John Kosmina

When you concede dumb goals, you've usually got to pay a price.

Jerry Coleman

I don't feel quite as dumb as they make me look,

Clint Eastwood

A lot of dumb pictures have made a lot of money, but that doesn't mean they're going to be anything cinema students will revel over in the future.

Walter Benjamin

If you're deaf, dumb, and blind to what's happening in the world, you're under no obligation to do anything. But if you know what's happening and you don't do anything but sit on your ass, then you're nothing but a punk

Charles Dickens

Thus, cases of injustice, and oppression, and tyranny, and the most extravagant bigotry, are in constant occurrence among us every day. It is the custom to trumpet forth much wonder and astonishment at the chief actors therein setting at defiance so completely the opinion of the world; but there is no greater fallacy; it is precisely because they do consult the opinion of their own little world that such things take place at all, and strike the great world dumb with amazement.

Ed Schultz

If I lived in Massachusetts, I'd try to vote ten times ... Yeah that's right, I'd cheat to keep these bastards out. I would. Because that's exactly what they are.

Charlaine Harris

It was one of God's jokes that such a dumb mind had been put in such an eloquent body.