Famous Quotes & Sayings

Dave Barry

My wife, like many women, actually LIKES wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness.

Bryan White

Christmas makes me happy no matter what time of year it comes around.

Arlo Guthrie

What's in that pipe that he's smoking?

Andy Borowitz

Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.

Andy Borowitz

Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.

Conan O'Brien

There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right?

Publilius Syrus

Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.

Jimmy Roy

We have a small, tight family. I left home at a young age and the best thing for me was to go home at Christmas-time and spend time with my family and friends. It's kind of funny, most people do turkey and all the trimmings, but we would have a big seafood festival because it's the only time of the year that we'd eat it. We never really went caroling, but once in a while we'd got out for a sleigh ride

Louis C. K.

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

Carl Friedrich Gauss

Sophie Germain proved to the world that even a woman can accomplish something in the most rigorous and abstract of sciences and for that reason would well have deserved an honorary degree.

Agnes Repplier

Woman is quick to revere genius, but in her secret soul she seldom loves it.

Charlotte Bronte

It does good to no woman to be flattered [by a man] who does not intend to marry her; and it is madness in all women to let a secret love kindle within them, which, if unreturned and unknown, must devour the life that feeds it; and, if discovered and responded to, must lead, ignis-fatuus-like, into miry wilds whence there is no extrication.

Charles Dudley Warner

A woman set on anything will walk right through the moral crockery without wincing.

Charles Dudley Warner

Women are not as sentimental as men, and are not so easily touched with the unspoken poetry of nature, being less poetical, and having less imagination; they are more fitted for practical affairs, and would make fewer failures in business.

Charles Caleb Colton

Women generally consider consequences in love, seldom in resentment.

Charles Caleb Colton

Pleasure is to women what the sun is to the flower; if moderately enjoyed, it beautifies, it refreshes, and it improves; if immoderately, it withers, deteriorates and destroys.

Charles Caleb Colton

Modesty is the richest ornament of a woman ... the want of it is her greatest deformity.

Charles Caleb Colton

A high degree of intellectual refinement in the female is the surest pledge society can have for the improvement of the male.

Carol Moseley Braun

I'm used to people not paying me a whole lot of attention and underestimating me and, frankly, for me a big challenge is to have people believe that I can be the president of the United States.

Carol Moseley Braun

I believe that our message of rebuilding America is one that will resonate with the American people.

Carlos Mencia

I don't have the time to steal other people's material even if I wanted to. The reason why these rumors got started is that I don't really contest them because I don't believe they deserve contesting. I really don't.

Carlos Mencia

God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people.

Carlos Ghosn

I don't believe in hostile moves. I don't believe they carry any value.

Carlos Ghosn

Don't believe what I say. Believe what I do.

Carlos Castaneda

... when confronted with unusual life situations... A warrior acts as if nothing had ever happened, because he doesn't believe in anything, yet he accepts everything at its face value.

Carlos Castaneda

What is wrong with us human beings, and has been wrong since time immemorial, is that without ever stating it in so many words, we believe that we have entered the realm of immortality. We behave as if we are never going to die - an infantile arrogance. But even more injurious than this sense of immortality is what comes with it : the sense that we can engulf this inconcievable universe with our minds.

Carl Bernstein

Even at the end of a presidential election campaign, we have no way to know what Mitt Romney really believes.