Famous Quotes & Sayings

Demetri Martin

Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like... after "I love you"... or "You're going to live"... or "It's a boy!

We're going to do a show that's loose, human, passionate and funny. A new generation of radio for people with real lives.

William Shakespeare

Frailty, thy name is woman!

William Shakespeare

Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak.

William Shakespeare

As he was valiant, I honour him. But as he was ambitious, I slew him.

Dick Armey

The American Dream is not to own your own home, but to get your kids out of it.

Diane von Furstenberg

Generosity is the best investment.

Abraham Lincoln

My Dear McClellan, if you don't want to use the army I should like to borrow it for a while. Yours respectfully.

Abraham Lincoln

Be excellent and party on dudes.

Kym Whitley

A woman is a woman. A woman has male problems, has job problems, and I think funny is funny.

Alexandre Dumas

So heavy is the chain of wedlock that it needs two to carry it, and sometimes three.

Lt. Steven Hauk: Sir, in my heart, I know I'm funny.

Magnum photographers can take a very somber picture but they can also take a very funny picture. I do hope people come away with a sense of humor about this.

Aaron Williams

Liam is real cool. He's a funny guy. He's real smart, and he shows real good leadership on and off the court.

Sharon Stone

It's funny, but I never knew I was hot or could be beautiful until I saw 'Basic Instinct,' and I was so shocked when I saw how pretty they made me.

Sean Harris

I used to like Barbra Streisand films. It was 'Funny Girl' that really turned me on, in a sense, to acting. I remember it specifically being a rainy Saturday afternoon. I couldn't play football, so I stayed in, and I watched 'Funny Girl.'

Stephan Pastis

The principles of comedy are the principles of comedy. I can hear funny.

Ricky Gervais

Pol Pot - he rounded up anybody he thought was intellectual and had them executed. And how he told someone was intellectual or not was whether they wore glasses. If they're that clever, take them off when they see him coming!

Ricky Gervais

You should bring something into the world that wasn't in the world before. It doesn't matter what that is. It doesn't matter if it's a table or a film or gardening-everyone should create. You should do something, then sit back and say 'I did that.'

Tracy Morgan

I know my spirit is not mean, and I have a very good spirit and a funny spirit.

Tracy Morgan

I don't control the line of 'funny,' 'funny,' 'funny,' 'not funny.'

Brian Clough

If God had wanted us to play football in the sky, He'd have put grass up there.

Brent Weeks

Dad, one of my first memories is of sharing my worry with you about the space shuttle poking holes in the atmosphere and letting out all of Earth's air.

Bobby Robson

We didn't underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought.

Bob Edwards

When Solomon said there was a time and a place for everything he had not encountered the problem of parking his automobile.

Bob Dole

Life is very important to Americans.

Bob Dole

The internet is a great way to get on the net.

Bob Dylan

Money doesn't talk, it swears.

Billy Crystal

Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America's biggest export is now the Oscar.

Billy Connolly

In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it's folded.

Billy Connolly

I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.

Billy Connolly

A fart is just your arse applauding.

Billy Connolly

On George W Bush: That man sits at that desk in the White House with the button that can end the world. My father's younger than him and we don't give him the controls for the television.