Famous Quotes & Sayings

Flula Borg

I think many people are finding things I do very funny and strange.

Elaine Stritch

I'm funny when I want to be. And I'm even funny when I don't want to be.

Gene Wilder

I write funny. If I can make my wife laugh, I know I'm on the right track.

Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu

When you see things upside down, the ego can be extraordinarily funny; it's absurd. But it's tragic at the same time.

Jerry Seinfeld

Funny is the world I live in. You're funny, I'm interested. You're not funny, I'm not interested.

Actually being funny is mostly telling the truth about things.

Billy Collins

I don't think I've ever written a poem whose intention was just to be funny. I've written poems that start out funny and often shift into something more serious.

Billy Collins

When I write, I'm not trying to be funny. It's the way I look at the world.

Danielle Panabaker

It's funny, one of the reasons why I never wear my glasses any more is that, when I was younger, a guy once said that he liked me until he found out that I wear glasses.

Fran Drescher

And remember, it's also very funny, because side by side with grief lies joy.

Robin Williams

When Jonathan Winters died, it was like, 'Oh, man!' I knew he was frail, but I always thought he was going to last longer. I knew him as being really funny, but at the same time, he had a dark side.

Bruce McCulloch

Is it spoken word? Kinda, but that's a weird area. Is it comedy? Well, it's funny but no, it's not comedy.

Bill Engvall

It's funny: people who meet me say, 'I thought you'd be different.' But I'm still the same guy.

Alan Alda

Achingly funny as it was, Larry Gelbart's writing gave off sparks that turned a hard light on the way we are.

Adlai Stevenson

A funny thing happened to me on the way to the White House.

Riki Lindhome

We love super-silly moments, funny moments, serious moments, weird moments.

Louis C. K.

I was talking to my friend and he said his girlfriend was mad at him. I said, "What happened?" He goes: "Well, I guess I, uh... I guess I said something, and, uh... and then she got her feelings hurt." That's a weird way to phrase it: "She got her feelings hurt. I said something, and then she..." Could you more remove yourself from responsibility? "She got her feelings hurt." It's like saying, "Yeah, I shot this guy in the face, and then I guess he got himself murdered. I don't know what happened. He leaned into it."

Louis C. K.

Black people have slavery. And white people have our own thing-stuff we went though that hurt us that we have to cope with. Like when they took our slaves away. That was really hard for us. So it's pretty even.

Louis C. K.

You can figure out how bad a person you are by how soon after September 11th you masturbated, like how long you waited... and for me it was between the two buildings going down... I had to do it, otherwise they'd win.

Louis C. K.

Most people are dead. Hitler. Ray Charles. Some other guys. But mostly those two.

Louis C. K.

I don't have a gun, but if I did, I would shoot a baby deer in the mouth and feel nothing.

Zedd

Whenever I'm in the U.K., people say I have an American accent. Which is, obviously, funny.

Jerry Coleman

Tony Gwynn, the fat batter behind Finley, is waiting.

Jerry Coleman

Turner was like a pencil. He bent around that pitch!

Orson Scott Card

Unemployment is capitalism's way of getting you to plant a garden.

Paul Simon

I've got nothing to do today but smile.

Russell Baker

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure.

Gerald R. Ford

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.

Orson Scott Card

Parents always make their worst mistakes with their oldest children. That's when parents know the least and care the most, so they're more likely to be wrong and also more likely to insist that they're right.

Malcolm Forbes

Presence is more than just being there.

Kurt Vonnegut

Future generations will look back on TV as the lead in the water pipes that slowly drove the Romans mad.

Kurt Vonnegut

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.

Kurt Vonnegut

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.