Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
Joan Alexandra Molinsky, better known as Joan Rivers, was an American comedian, actress, writer, producer, and television host noted for her often controversial comedic persona—where she was alternately self-deprecating or sharply acerbic, especially toward celebrities and politicians...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth8 June 1933
CountryUnited States of America
dark optimism think-positive
Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
women memorable stomach
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
fashion clothes tailored-suits
Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.
rooms dentist canaries
You know it's time to start using mouthwash when your dentist leaves the room and sends in a canary.
memorable laughing tough
Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
aspirin mayonnaise hillarious
Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
suicidal night lasts
I'm so fat and I'm so depressed; last night I tried to hang myself - but the rope broke.
children airplane next
What could be nicer than to have three horrible children behind you in an airplane, and the next set, you go onstage and you talk about how much you despise the children and what you would like to do to them on an airplane? That's the only time I would gladly take a terrorist on. It'd be worth it to get rid of these children.
college who-you-know use
You're college graduates now, so use your education. Remember: It's not who you know, it's whom.
funny life stranger
Never floss with a stranger.
thank-you country fashion
Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
age mammograms pedicures
My breasts are so low now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.
funny hilarious mistake
A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
funny humor groups
My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.