Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
Joan Alexandra Molinsky, better known as Joan Rivers, was an American comedian, actress, writer, producer, and television host noted for her often controversial comedic persona—where she was alternately self-deprecating or sharply acerbic, especially toward celebrities and politicians...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth8 June 1933
CountryUnited States of America
baby parenting motherhood
And since we're all adults here, let's be brutally honest-most babies are not actually attractive. In fact, they're weird and freakish looking. A large percentage of them are squinty-eyed and bald and their faces are all mushed toegther, kind of like Renee Zellweger pushed up against a glass window.
hate kissing yelling
I hate McDonald's. I don't want to order my dinner by yelling into a clown's mouth. If I want my face in a clown's mouth, I'll tongue kiss Glenn Beck.
projects runway heidi
I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
love-is blue white
I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs.
baby lying way
Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.
team makeup years
I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
baby ugly months
That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
sex laughing kim
As a wedding gift, Ray J gave Kim Kardashian his profits from their sex tape. It's 'Something Old' as well as 'Something Blew.'
mother humor flying
My mother was a very elegant woman. When a flying saucer landed on the lawn, she turned it over to see if it was Wedgwood.
beauty sex littles
I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me 'sir'.
laughing fool laugh-at-yourself
When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
bandages
I’m never without a bandage.
moving white faces
No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
humor i-love-him knowing
"I've learned what's funny verbally ain't so funny on e-mail: They don't hear your intonations. Melissa broke up with somebody over that. She tried to tell him: "That was a joke!" But he just didn't get it. Mick Jagger said, "F- 'em if they don't get the joke." And I love him. That comes with age: Knowing it's their problem, not mine."