Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
Joan Alexandra Molinsky, better known as Joan Rivers, was an American comedian, actress, writer, producer, and television host noted for her often controversial comedic persona—where she was alternately self-deprecating or sharply acerbic, especially toward celebrities and politicians...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth8 June 1933
CountryUnited States of America
shade looks window
I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.
enough-time blink jokes
Why women don't blink during foreplay... not enough time.
children hate thinking
Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I'm angry that libraries have gone. I hate children on planes. I'm very shallow, so they tend to be little things. To be honest, I think I was probably angry the day I was born, you know, about diapers or something.
girl children memorable
I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.
memorable rivers acting
Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.
suicide party vanity
I've learned: When you get older, who cares? I don't mince words, I don't hold back. What are you gonna do to me? Fire me? It's been done. Threaten to commit suicide? Done. Take away my show? Done! Not invite to me to the Vanity Fair party? I've never been invited! If I ever saw the invitation, I'd use it as toilet paper.
thinking
You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
regret party political
I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done You can tune me out, you can click me off, it's OK. I am not going to bow to political correctness. But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party.
love-and-marriage doe spit
You don’t marry for love. What does love got to do with marriage? I spit on love and marriage. You marry for money.
sex historical life-is
My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.
want toes tag
I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag.
sex husband kids
I have no sex appeal; if my husband didn't toss and turn, we'd never have had the kid.
nice names adjectives
There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
jobs noses brooklyn
Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!