Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
Joan Alexandra Molinsky, better known as Joan Rivers, was an American comedian, actress, writer, producer, and television host noted for her often controversial comedic persona—where she was alternately self-deprecating or sharply acerbic, especially toward celebrities and politicians...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth8 June 1933
CountryUnited States of America
years als pounds
Al Roker said I am 80 years 'young'; it's like saying Al Roker is 320 pounds 'thin'.
reality thinking dying
I think actual death will be a lot easier than dying on stage. Cause - you know - if you do [actual death] right, you can go looking good. Maybe with a little quip [like]: 'I loved everybody.' But dying on stage...Oh, God!
husband fall making-love
I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.
play tragedy twists
God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
choices goes-on television
Every television show you go on is a choice.
law wife lawyer
Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
dollars figures millions
I have a million dollar figure ... but it's all loose change.
chinese telephones chins
Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
people boss matter
I've learned from doing my own show with Fox that people are not your partners if they're signing the checks. Whoever signs your paycheck is the boss - no matter what they tell you.
fun memorable mean
The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.
thinking
I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
two two-best-friends hillarious
She's so fat, she's my two best friends.
men hands library
No man will ever put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.
humility memorable needs
Comedy - and I say this with humility - comedy needs me.