Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
Joan Alexandra Molinsky, better known as Joan Rivers, was an American comedian, actress, writer, producer, and television host noted for her often controversial comedic persona—where she was alternately self-deprecating or sharply acerbic, especially toward celebrities and politicians...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth8 June 1933
CountryUnited States of America
art night forever
I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
art disappointment air
Somehow, some way, every person in the arts has to find an accommodation with disappointment and embarrassment. They are the pollen in the air we breathe. If you must go into the arts, go into them for yourself alone. On some basic level you must enjoy the act of doing it ... Otherwise, you are going to end up frustrated and unhappy. Recognition in the arts is luck and gravy.
morning body steps
Don't talk to me about gravity. When I get out of bed in the morning, I have to be careful not to step on my breasts.
thinking attention life-is
if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
sex humorous two
Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played "Here Comes the Bride"...
book self degrees
There are many self-help books by Ph.D.s, but I hold a different degree: an I.B.T.I.A.-I've Been Through It All. This degree comes not on parchment but gauze, and it entitles me to tell you that there is a way to get through any misfortune.
sarcastic knees moses
She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees.
husband cake wife
Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
good-day steps aging
I now consider it a good day when I don't step on my boobs.
memorable years needs
I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.
funny awards people
The people voting for the Oscars are so old. I haven't seen one Academy Award voter with a tampon in her purse.
mother husband men
My mother told me 'man on top, woman underneath.' For years my husband & I slept in bunk beds.
temples needs body
My body is a temple, and my temple needs redecorating
men age way
The only way I can get a man to touch me at this age is plastic surgery.