Doug Stanhope
Doug Stanhope
Douglas Stanhope is an American stand-up comedian, actor, and author known for his cynical and controversial comedy style and libertarian political views...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 March 1967
CityWorcester, MA
CountryUnited States of America
funny jesus humor
Jesus died for your sins. I'm doing it for your mere entertainment dollar.
funny humor opening-up
As long as the people who kinda wanna go kill other people are going to go kill other people who kinda wanna go kill other people, you're killing all the right people and opening up all the best parking spaces.
funny humor years
What I've lost in years I've gained in wisdom. Bullshit, I haven't learnt one thing in the last 15 years that hasn't just depressed me more.
funny humor people
I sometimes wonder if necrophiliacs are really into dead people or if they just enjoy the quiet.
funny humor abortion
You have options when it comes to abortion now. It's not like 1955 when you just had to kick her down a staircase and hope for the best... you feed her a tapeworm and hope it takes a left at the Y.
funny humor noses
I've done coke 'til my nose was bleeding like the fourth week of Lilith Fair.
fun being-funny
Doing stand-up takes the fun out of being funny.
funny humor trying
I've jammed enough things up my own ass just trying to come on any amphetamine based narcotic.
fun piers poop
If you get made fun of working at Pier One Imports, you can't pelt them with poop.
fun everyday trying
Paralympics... fascinating because just watching anyone with a major disability trying to do everyday chores is fun to watch.
fun school quitting
If you're in high-school and you're not having fun, quit.
sex fun people
Sex is free fun for poor people.
fun hype garbage
I love conspiracy theories. I used to just live on it. You know it's all hype and garbage, but you're still really paranoid afterwards. It's fun entertainment.
fun get-involved involved
The more business gets involved, the less fun it is.