Doug Stanhope
Doug Stanhope
Douglas Stanhope is an American stand-up comedian, actor, and author known for his cynical and controversial comedy style and libertarian political views...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 March 1967
CityWorcester, MA
CountryUnited States of America
funny humor trying
I've jammed enough things up my own ass just trying to come on any amphetamine based narcotic.
alcohol vodka wells
If I have to be a monotheist, y'know pick one, I'm picking vodka, it goes well with everything, all occasions.
fun piers poop
If you get made fun of working at Pier One Imports, you can't pelt them with poop.
fun everyday trying
Paralympics... fascinating because just watching anyone with a major disability trying to do everyday chores is fun to watch.
young ifs died
If I die soon, don't ever say I died too young.
sex children two
Sex and children are the two things that delude logic the most in this society.
children writing cards
There's nothing funnier than getting a death threat via MySpace. Why don't you just write it in a children's birthday card.
jobs men elephants
What ever happened to freak shows? Back in the twenties when elephant man was born at least he had a job waiting for him.
mother experts rigs
I'd get demolitions experts to rig mother to implode like a skyscraper.
life player knees
I am a player in life, not an observer. I look at herpes the way you look at a scraped knee.
odds vegas boring
Statistical high Vegas odds probability is that nothing of any significance will ever happen to you in your entire boring life.
drinking drug lasts
I've been doing a lot of drugs in the last few weeks and drinking less, and I feel much better.
fun school quitting
If you're in high-school and you're not having fun, quit.
children police crime
Child pornography is the only crime that you cannot report to the police as an eyewitness.