Author unknown
Author unknown
christian church garage standing
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
almost hallmark miserable
Hallmark Card: "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here.
hard laziness pays work
Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now
fruit knowing knowledge putting tomato wisdom
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
hard knowledge power study
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
fall
Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
grain life shot slice
I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
crisis found smiles
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
bald beer equal head street until walk women
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
hit women
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
worrying
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
missed past season tv walked
Yo momma's so fat, she walked past the TV and i missed the first season of Lost.
parachute
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
change love source
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.