Author unknown
Author unknown
choose miss people president run
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
friend good heaps life miss ship sinking together
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.
aim miss
I still miss my ex-girlfriend, but my aim is improving.
missed past season tv walked
Yo momma's so fat, she walked past the TV and i missed the first season of Lost.
miss misses retard
I miss you like a retard misses the point.
cares couple missing nobody
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
black cats luck pumpkins yours
When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,May luck be yours on Halloween.
fill mother says whenever
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
beginning last man says women word
Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
drive park
Why is the place you drive on is a parkway, and the place you park on is the driveway?
buildings call
Why do we call them buildings when they're finished? Shouldn't they be called Builts?
believe billion check four paint
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
discipline celebration obnoxious
Without true celebration discipline is obnoxious.
luck pushing weight
Anybody who is not pulling his weight is probably pushing his luck.