Author unknown
Author unknown
diplomat forward hell
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
fruit knowing knowledge putting tomato wisdom
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
hard knowledge power study
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
fall
Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
god love stupid
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
bad girls good
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
christian church garage standing
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
block bucks cash cold five frozen hard
I got cold hard cash for Christmas. Five bucks frozen in a block of ice.
grain life shot slice
I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
crisis found smiles
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
almost hallmark miserable
Hallmark Card: "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here.
hard laziness pays work
Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now
black call flying man pilot
What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.
good help people smiling
Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.