Author unknown
Author unknown
cut gives half life
When life gives you lemons, cut them in half and squirt life in the eye!
planet save
Save the Earth... it's the only planet with chocolate.
created draft final god man rough sure
Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece.
artificial intelligence match natural
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
insult rubs tv
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
dolphins edge few people pool smart stand throw train weeks within
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
good head voices
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
call cow disease mad
They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
copyright effective known man protection scratched
The most effective copyright protection known to man : a scratched CD.
bus fast runs twice vehicle
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
butcher meat top
I told the butcher I'd give him $10 if he got the meat down off the top shelf. He said he couldn't. The steaks were too high.
address cause effect fix rather root
For every effect there is a root cause. Find and address the root cause rather than try to fix the effect, as there is no end to the latter.
remember
Always remember that you are unique; just like everyone else.
rag smell
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?