Famous Quotes & Sayings

Hillary Clinton

Motown, Motown, that's my era. Those are my people.

He's a hilarious individual with one of the most devastatingly offbeat views of life one could ever encounter.

Caroline Rhea

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Mindy Kaling

If you're a kid who was not especially a star in your high school, I recommend going to a college in the middle of nowhere. I got all the attention I could ever have wanted.

Milton Berle

Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.

Milton Berle

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

Kristen Schaal

I think growing up on a farm in a certain amount of isolation, with not a lot of friends nearby, makes you entertain yourself and kind of grows your imagination - being alone is quite good for all that. You make up stories, talk to the animals, let them be an audience, a bunch of cows.

Muhammad Ali

If you even dream of beating me you'd better wake up and apologize.

Jay London

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist. She did everybody.

Kid Rock

If I was president of the good old U.S.A., I'd turn the churches into strip clubs and watch the whole world pray.

Mark Twain

Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.

Jessica Simpson

Is this chicken or is this fish?

Jessica Simpson

I'm not anorexic. I'm from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I've never heard of one. And that includes me.

It made for some hilarious moments to see him and his friends try to overcome these issues. He surrounded himself with his friends who had no idea how to put together anything like this.

Ray Bradbury

A conglomerate heap of trash, that's what I am. But it burns with a high flame.

Melissa Etheridge

This is the only naked man that will ever be in my bedroom.

Mark Twain

Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.

Mark Twain

I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town immediately.

Martha Stewart

I want to focus on my salad.

Matt Groening

English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England.

Matt Groening

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

H. L. Mencken

On one issue, at least, men and women agree. They both distrust women.

Francine Pascal

It's so trendy, almost bleeding to death. All the cool girls are doing it.

Jerry Seinfeld

Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light'; but with twenty per cent fewer letters.

Jerry Seinfeld

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

Chris Kattan

I love any movie that has a retarded person working at Starbucks.

Ellen DeGeneres

Now airlines charge for everything... If the oxygen mask drops, you have to swipe your credit card to start the flow of the oxygen.

Hugh Leonard

There is only one immutable law in life - in a gentleman's toilet, incoming traffic has the right of way.

Hugh Hefner

My life is an open book. With illustrations.

Christina Aguilera

I wouldn't feel right wearing clothes covering my body.

Ellen DeGeneres

Do we have to know who's gay and who's straight? Can't we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?

Kellie Pickler

I thought Europe was a country?

George Eliot

And certainly, the mistakes that we male and female mortals make when we have our own way might fairly raise some wonder that we are so fond of it.