Famous Quotes & Sayings

Hillary Clinton

Motown, Motown, that's my era. Those are my people.

Evan Esar

The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.

He's a hilarious individual with one of the most devastatingly offbeat views of life one could ever encounter.

Franz Kafka

The limited circle is pure.

Chris Kattan

I love any movie that has a retarded person working at Starbucks.

George Eliot

And certainly, the mistakes that we male and female mortals make when we have our own way might fairly raise some wonder that we are so fond of it.

Francine Pascal

It's so trendy, almost bleeding to death. All the cool girls are doing it.

Erma Bombeck

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.

Flannery O'Connor

The old woman was the kind who would not cut down a large old tree because it was a large old tree.

Caroline Rhea

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Mindy Kaling

If you're a kid who was not especially a star in your high school, I recommend going to a college in the middle of nowhere. I got all the attention I could ever have wanted.

Jay London

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist. She did everybody.

Milton Berle

Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.

Milton Berle

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

Jessica Simpson

Is this chicken or is this fish?

Jessica Simpson

I'm not anorexic. I'm from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I've never heard of one. And that includes me.

Ellen DeGeneres

Now airlines charge for everything... If the oxygen mask drops, you have to swipe your credit card to start the flow of the oxygen.

Hugh Leonard

There is only one immutable law in life - in a gentleman's toilet, incoming traffic has the right of way.

Hugh Hefner

My life is an open book. With illustrations.

Muhammad Ali

If you even dream of beating me you'd better wake up and apologize.

Kristen Schaal

I think growing up on a farm in a certain amount of isolation, with not a lot of friends nearby, makes you entertain yourself and kind of grows your imagination - being alone is quite good for all that. You make up stories, talk to the animals, let them be an audience, a bunch of cows.

Kid Rock

If I was president of the good old U.S.A., I'd turn the churches into strip clubs and watch the whole world pray.

Mark Twain

Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.

Matt Groening

English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England.

Matt Groening

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

Mark Twain

Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.

Mark Twain

I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town immediately.

Christina Aguilera

I wouldn't feel right wearing clothes covering my body.

Kellie Pickler

I thought Europe was a country?

Ellen DeGeneres

Do we have to know who's gay and who's straight? Can't we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?

Martha Stewart

I want to focus on my salad.

Jim Morrison

I see myself as an intelligent, sensitive human, with the soul of a clown which forces me to blow it at the most important moments.

Tom Cruise

Psychiatry is a pseudoscience.... You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do...Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, you don't even -you're glib. You don't even know what Ritalin is.