Famous Quotes & Sayings

Matt Groening

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

Muhammad Ali

If you even dream of beating me you'd better wake up and apologize.

Mark Twain

Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.

Mark Twain

I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town immediately.

Kristen Schaal

I think growing up on a farm in a certain amount of isolation, with not a lot of friends nearby, makes you entertain yourself and kind of grows your imagination - being alone is quite good for all that. You make up stories, talk to the animals, let them be an audience, a bunch of cows.

Mark Twain

Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.

Ray Bradbury

A conglomerate heap of trash, that's what I am. But it burns with a high flame.

Tom Cruise

Psychiatry is a pseudoscience.... You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do...Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, you don't even -you're glib. You don't even know what Ritalin is.

Michael Scott

I never avoid something that challenges my guts and my heart. While I might occasionally puke my guts out, I have never puked my heart out.

Miguel de Cervantes

The reason for the unreason with which you treat my reason , so weakens my reason that with reason I complain of your beauty.

Matthew McConaughey

We found a great rhythm. Contractions started kicking in. I sat there with her, right between her legs. We got tribal on it, we danced to it! I was DJ-ing this Brazilian music.

Mariah Carey

I just want one day off when I can go swimming and eat ice cream and look at rainbows.

Martha Stewart

I want to focus on my salad.

Melissa Etheridge

This is the only naked man that will ever be in my bedroom.

Lance Armstrong

A boo is a lot louder than a cheer.

Emo Philips

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Siouxsie Sioux

You can't take anything like that seriously. I mean, sex is pretty hilarious anyway.

Stephen Colbert

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.

Sarah Palin

All of 'em, any of 'em that have been in front of me over all these years.

Willard Scott

Bryant Gumbel's ego has applied for statehood. And if it's accepted, it will be the fifth-largest.

Robert Conquest

The behavior of any bureaucratic organization can best be understood by assuming that it is controlled by a secret cabal of its enemies.

Russell Crowe

This is possibly the most shameful situation I've ever gotten myself in in my life, and I've done some pretty dumb things in my life. So to actually make a new No. 1 is spectacularly stupid.

Will Rogers

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.

Whitney Houston

Crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke crack. Let's get that straight. OK? We don't do crack. We don't do that. Crack is whack.

Wendy Liebman

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.

Laurie Halse Anderson

Nicole can do anything that involves a ball and whistle.

I like stepping into the future. Therefore, I look for doorknobs.

Tina Fey

I think women dress for other women to let them know what their deal is. Because if women were only dressing for men, there would be nothing but Victoria's Secret. There would be no Dior.

Tina Fey

Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.

Tao Lin

Matt would stare at Andrew for 10 minutes. It's depressing that people are different. Everyone should be one person, who should then kill itself in hand-to-hand combat.

Simon Cowell

I actually don't understand a word Paula's saying anymore. It's like a new language.

Steven Seagal

People all over the world recognize me as a spiritual leader.

Vladimir Putin

I'll be honest, I felt an urge to squeeze him like a kitten and that led to the gesture I made. There was nothing behind it really.