Famous Quotes & Sayings

Dave Barry

If women were in charge of all the world's nations, there would be sincerely believe this - no military conflicts, and when there WAS a military conflict, everybody involved would feel just awful and there would soon be a high-level exchange of notes written on greeting cards with flowers on the front, followed by a Peace Luncheon

Audrey Hepburn

I don't want to be alone, I want to be left alone.

Denise Richards

I am truly not one to give advice. I'm divorced and I stole my best friend's husband.

Bill Watterson

When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.

Daniel Handler

Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.

Ashleigh Brilliant

If you have something to say and say nothing, you are really telling a lie.

Ashleigh Brilliant

Look how often the unexpected happens - yet we still never expect it.

Ashleigh Brilliant

One possible reason that I don't believe in fate is that I wasn't fated to.

Quintyn Eldridge

Since he's so tall and so big it was hilarious to see him do it.

Cathy Guisewite

I'm more financially successful, but it just means the shopping blunders I make are bigger now.

Cathy Guisewite

Every time I get something under control in my own life, the world provides more material.

Bob Monkhouse

Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

Chetan Bhagat

The word “future” and females is a dangerous combination.

Bill Watterson

Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made.

Bill Watterson

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.

Bill Watterson

If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.

Bill Watterson

The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.

Edgar Guest

You'll be richer in the end than a prince, if you're a friend.

Charles Simmons

He who feasts every day, feasts no day.

Dave Barry

In Spain, attempting to obtain a chicken salad sandwich, you wind up with a dish whose name, when you look it up in your Spanish-English dictionary, turns out to mean: Eel with big abcess.

Catherine Bertini

We need a new definition of malnutrition. Malnutrition means under- and over-nutrition. Malnutrition means emaciated and obese.

Bryan Q. Miller

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill.

Kathleen Blanco

The power is out, the phones are down and there is no food or water, and many trees are down.

Niger Innis

The slaves had food stamps, too. It was called 'scraps from Massa's table.'

Kurt Vonnegut

It is harder to be unhappy when you are eating.

Ed Begley, Jr.

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare.

David Hume

Virtue, like wholesome food, is better than poisons, however corrected.