Famous Quotes & Sayings

Cathy Guisewite

I'm more financially successful, but it just means the shopping blunders I make are bigger now.

Cathy Guisewite

Every time I get something under control in my own life, the world provides more material.

Bob Monkhouse

Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

Chetan Bhagat

The word “future” and females is a dangerous combination.

Bill Watterson

Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made.

Bill Watterson

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.

Bill Watterson

If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.

Bill Watterson

The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.

Edgar Guest

You'll be richer in the end than a prince, if you're a friend.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

If I can sell tickets to my movies like Red Sonja or Last Action Hero, you know I can sell just about anything.

Adolphe Menjou

He has a heart of gold - only harder.

Andy Borowitz

The hardest thing about life is that every now and then you have to do things so you have something to tweet about.

Clifton Fadiman

For most men, life is a search for the proper Manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.

Douglas Adams

Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.

Andrew Lang

Life's more amusing than we thought.

Andy Rooney

It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.

Andy Rooney

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.

Edgar Allan Poe

If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered.

Erma Bombeck

There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.

Fred Allen

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

George Carlin

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

George Carlin

Life is a near-death experience.

Friedrich Nietzsche

A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

Frank Zappa

The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life.

Jennifer Aniston

Life is funny. Life isn’t categorized into comedy, drama, action, is it?So I don’t know why they try to categorize everything. It drives me crazy-why it would have to be just a romantic comedy or…I want to have a little integrity, a little story, you know

Hunter S. Thompson

Luck is a very thin wire between survival and disaster, and not many people can keep their balance on it.

Hunter S. Thompson

I learned a long time ago that reality was much weirder than anyone's imagination.

Hunter S. Thompson

You better take care of me Lord, if you don't you're gonna have me on your hands.

Mel Brooks

I don't know what to say so I'll just say what's in my heart...badoom, badoom, badoom.

Jim Steinman

If life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car. And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are.

Gustave Flaubert

I am irritated by my own writing. I am like a violinist whose ear is true, but whose fingers refuse to reproduce precisely the sound he hears within.

Laurell K. Hamilton

When in doubt, ignore and be horribly unimpressed

Josh Billings

My advice to those who are about to begin, in earnest, the journey of life, is to take their heart in one hand and a club in the other.