Famous Quotes & Sayings

Kevin Kelly

I work in a "you scratch my back, and I'll stab yours" kind of a place.

Kevin Hart

How the hell do you wake up dead?

Kevin Hart

My baby is weird man... when he get mad, he gets in the oven.

Kevin Hart

What? Okay, back up. How in the hell do you 'turn up missing'?

Keith David

What has been happening more lately - of course, I also put in my bio, I say I do the voice of Goliath, but some people go - you know, I say something, and it's a funny thing when you work in this business, people will talk out loud in front of you like you're not there.

Katy Perry

I was a hop-around. I hung out with the rockabilly crew, the guys who were trying to be rappers, the funny kids.

Katy Perry

I'm like a fatter version of Amy Winehouse and a skinnier version of Lily Allen.

Katy Perry

You know you're living right when you wake up, brush your hair - and confetti falls out!

Ralph Klein

A fine city with too many socialists and mosquitoes. At least you can spray the mosquitoes.

Ralph Kiner

On this special Fathers Day, we'd like to wish all of you a very Happy Birthday.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Beauty is an outward gift, which is seldom despised, except by those to whom it has been refused.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

The torpid artist seeks inspiration at any cost, by virtue or by vice, by friend or by fiend, by prayer or by wine.

Savannah Guthrie

I've tried many different types of alarm apps, but the tried and true is the iPhone alarm. I like it because you can label your alarms. For my personal amusement, I've labeled them 3 a.m. for 'ridiculously early,' 3:30 is just 'early,' and 4 is 'slacker.'

Lily Tomlin

You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.

Lily Tomlin

We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company.

Lily Tomlin

Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.

Lily Tomlin

If I had known what it would be like to have it all - I might have been willing to settle for less.

Lily Tomlin

I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.

Lily Tomlin

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

Lily Tomlin

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

Liam Neeson

I don't think I'm funny.

Liam Neeson

It's funny, but you get to a time in your life when you think you have all the friends you will ever have.

Les Dawson

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.

Les Dawson

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

Les Dawson

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Les Dawson

I knew I'd chosen the wrong airline when I noticed the sick bag had the Lord's Prayer on it.

Lenny Bruce

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do.

Lenny Bruce

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.

Lenny Bruce

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

Lenny Bruce

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

Lenny Bruce

Communism is like one big phone company.

Will Rogers

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else

There was a lot going on. I kept looking back and forth. We thought it was kind of funny when the music was playing during the wrestling matches. But it was fun.