Quotes about funny
funny humorous men
We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read- Mark Twain
funny sarcastic sex
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
funny witty inspirational-life
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
funny work evil
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
funny humor cat
A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?
funny life death
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
funny religious purpose
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.
funny motivational business
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
funny sarcastic money
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
funny-food religion cows
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
funny witty clever
Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
funny clever men
What a man misses mostly in heaven is company.
funny kindness divorce
great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.
funny fake-people halloween
Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
funny inspiration humor
The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.
funny humor sublime
I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect.
funny inspiring dog
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.
funny life sarcastic
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
funny life education
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
funny life sarcastic
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
funny sarcastic money
We have the best government that money can buy.
funny humor cat
Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
funny money women
Having money is rather like being a blond. It is more fun but not vital. Mary Quant
funny book mirrors
A book is a mirror: if an ape looks into it an apostle is hardly likely to look out. Georg C. Lichtenberg
funny-love long stupidity
Marriage marks the end of many short follies - being one long stupidity. Friedrich Nietzsche
funny dumb
Isn't it weird that I'm getting all emotionable? Jessica Simpson
funny running baseball
Rick Miller hit only one home run last year, and that's like hitting none. Jerry Coleman
funny baseball running
Last night's homer was Stargell's 399th career home run, leaving him one shy of 500.
funny baseball humor
Renko has just about had it. Pretty soon somebody will come out of the dugout with a fork and get him.
funny baseball humor
George Hendrick simply lost that sun-blown pop-up.
funny baseball humor
The Cards lead the Dodgers 4-2 after one inning and that one hasn't even started.
funny baseball humor
Ozzie Smith is out there roaming around like glass.
funny baseball humor
Billy Almon has all of his in-laws and outlaws here this afternoon.