Famous Quotes & Sayings

Justin Upton

I didn't leave much room ... It's kind of funny how it's working out.

Ingmar Bergman

I hope I never get so old I get religious.

Jack Lemmon

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

Jack Dempsey

Tell him he can have my title, but I want it back in the morning.

Jack Dempsey

All the time he's boxing, he's thinking. All the time he was thinking, I was hitting him.

J. D. Salinger

Mothers are all slightly insane.

Ingvar Kamprad

I'm stingy and I'm proud of the reputation.

Ira Glass

I wish that someone had said to me that it's normal to feel lost for a little while.

Imelda Marcos

I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.

Jack McMahon

Here's a six-foot-ten guy in sneakers and the lady's asking me, 'Profession?'

Jack Benny

As you may or may not know, in keeping with the high-class tone of Beverly Hills, our police force is probably the most snobbish group of gendarmes in the world. It is said that the Beverly Hills Police Department is so fancy that it has an unlisted number.

Jack Benny

If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Jack Benny

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

Jack Black

You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow.

Isaac Stern

Everywhere in the world, music enhances a hall, with one exception: Carnegie Hall enhances the music.

Isaac Newton

I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies, but not the madness of people.

Harrison Ford

I could take Sean Connery in a fight... I could definitely take him.

Hannibal Buress

We were talking about urban youth. And by urban I mean lives in a city not urban as in black like white people use it.

Hannibal Buress

I have weird aspirations. Like, I really want to kick a pigeon.

Hannibal Buress

Sometimes I get drunk and I get into arguments with taxi drivers. And I get out the cab and I slam the door. That's not the way to win an argument with a taxi driver. The way to win is you get out of the cab and you leave the door open. And then he has to step out and come around and close that door. And while he's doing that, I'm on the other side opening the other doors-and we just go around and around and around, and I got my own Benny Hill situation going on in life.

Hannibal Buress

I never use a napkin on my lap at a restaurant...because I believe in myself.

Hannah More

Going to the opera, like getting drunk, is a sin that carries its own punishment with it.

Guy Pearce

Funny enough, if you are looking at people these days who are putting Botox in their face and getting all sorts of plastic surgery, we look at them and go, I can tell you've had Botox. I can tell you've had plastic surgery. You look really strange to me. But no one's saying anything. We're just accepting the fact that they're strange-looking.

Guy Pearce

It's funny, though, with films, because you can incorporate a variety of elements, and sometimes that can work for you and sometimes I think it can work against you.

Guy Kawasaki

The more popular a person thinks he is in the blogosphere, the thinner his skin and the thicker his hypocrisy. This should be exactly the opposite: the higher you go the thicker the skin and thinner the hypocrisy.

Greg Giraldo

"You're an old man who dresses like a Hooter's waitress."

Greg Giraldo

Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life. If Bill Gates had got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft?

Greg Gutfeld

A funny thing about tolerant people? They're really only tolerant when you agree with them.

Gracie Allen

You kissed me like that when I was a blushing bride ...? I wonder what I was blushing about?

Gracie Allen

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

Gracie Allen

Some people are amazed at my brain, but really it's nothing.

Gracie Allen

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

Harry Caray

Aw, how could he Jorge Orta lose the ball in the sun, he's from Mexico.