Greg Giraldo
Greg Giraldo
Gregory C. "Greg" Giraldowas an American stand-up comedian, television personality, and lawyer. He is remembered for his appearances on Comedy Central's televised roast specials, and for his work on that network's television shows Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn, Lewis Black's Root of All Evil, and the programming block Stand-Up Nation, the last of which he hosted...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth10 December 1965
CityBronx, NY
CountryUnited States of America
There are no black people in Iraq, so how will they know who to shoot at?
Why do we need another station where everyone has a gun? We already have BET.
"You're an old man who dresses like a Hooter's waitress."
On a day-to-day basis, you get tired of waiting to be accepted. In show business, someone else has to say that you're good or that you're worth going to see or worth taping a show. There's a lot of pain here. There's a lot of pain inside. I'm a sad, crying-on-the-inside kind of clown.
It's something like 70% of American adults are obese, and the rest of them are women on Ally McBeal.
Christine Todd Whitman had to resign as the head of the EPA. You know, when the governor of New Jersey decides the environment is hopeless, you gotta really think that one through.
It's hard to distinguish when I was actually struggling from when I only felt like I was struggling - which was pretty much always.
My advice to graduates is to stay positive. Life is short, and you'll be dead soon.
Ice-T is so old that the first thing he bought with the money from his album sales was his freedom.
How many of you text message? It's a great way of not communicating.
The internet's a creepy thing, especially if you have kids. It says something very creepy about the fact that I use the same machine to masturbate with as I use to teach my kid the alphabet.
When I heard you could get a disease from playing with your prairie dog, I thought, 'Wow, what a euphemism.' I thought playing with my prairie dog was the best way to avoid diseases.
Americans are not gonna conserve. We're not gonna shift to smaller cars. We can't - we have big, fat kids.
All the evidence we need that God is angry with us is Justin Timberlake's career.